This Tickle is entitled, “Marshalls.” When I was a kid, my mom used to buy all my clothes from Marshalls. When Z. Cavariccis were popular and every kid had to have one, my mom got me a pair, but they were frog vomit green. Whenever I complained about the clothes she bought, she’d always yell at me and say, “Its the style, Scott! That’s what the style is now! They wouldn’t sell it if it wasn’t in style!”
As a kid, I didn’t get it. Because at Marshalls I saw brand names like Skidz, Edwin jeans, and Polo and yet they were so ugly. Marshalls is like a home to all of the bastard clothes that designers try to forget. I bet Eddie Murphy and Arnold Schwarzenegger use Marshalls to clothe all their unwanted kids.
Maybe Marshalls wouldn’t be such a bad memory if middle school never existed. Middle school — where every kid is desperate to fit in. You’re too young to drive and too young to make money. Therefore kids end up judging you based on how much your parents are willing to spend on your outfit. It’s all a reflection on your parents. So in order to keep from getting made fun of, I worked hard at making people laugh. Then it didn’t matter what color my pants were. Or how cheap my mom was. If I have a son, and he’s born without a sense of humor, I’m gonna send him to school dressed like a clown. Then maybe the kids at school will think, “Wow. His parents must be really funny.”