This Tickle is entitled, “Cereal Blues 2.” General Mills has tainted the wholesome legacy of Cheerios. Cheerios used to be punk rock. I used to high-five that yellow box in the supermarkets. But not anymore. Next time you’re in the cereal aisle, count all the Cheerios brands you see. There’s so many different kinds, one could rattle them off like Bubba from Forrest Gump: Honey Nut Cheerios, Chocolate Cheerios, Fruity Cheerios, Yogurt Burst Cheerios, Multi Grain Cheerios, Multi Grain Cheerios with Peanut Butter, Frosted Cheerios, Apple Cinnamon Cheerios, Cinnamon Burst Cheerios, Cheerios Oat Cluster Crunch, Dulce de Leche Cheerios, and Banana Nut Cheerios.
Seriously? Cheerios, you suck the life out of all the other COOL cereals. You make Kelloggs Raisin Bran feel constipated. Sonny is no longer Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs because his mom has him on Ritalin now, even Lucky from Lucky Charms stepped in dog crap today. Shame on you, Cheerios.